Chapter 1: The Sea Captain's Revenge


Salt from the sea air stung the captain's nose as he stood off the port bow. His ship, 'Cheeseburgers in Paradise,' was indeed a mammoth schooner. It was day 697 at sea and the chase was beginning to intensify.

"I know you're out there--" the captain said to himself.

"I will not rest until I have you in my hands." He continued.

As a boy growing up on the coast of county Kerry, the then young sea captain had always heard tall tales of hidden treasure in far away lands or exotic islands, but one particular legend never left the captain's head and was single handedly responsible for his chosen profession; the legend of the fountain of cheeseburgers.


Never would he nor his family ever have to eat seafood again; the countless hours spent in the washroom beside the toilet heaving up that night's oyster dish would be a thing of the past. But for now, the dream had to be put on hold. It had been over two years at sea, searching, scouring, puking, crying, almost to the point of giving up. The sea captain walked back down into his quarters in the hull of the ship to write in his memoires;


Day 697:


My Dearest Gertrude,


No sign of the fountain yet; I thought we found it once we anchored off the coast of Tarzana, but alas, it was a family of hedgehogs. Gertrude, I promise that one day I will find this treasure that we have dreamed of and we shall eat like royalty for the rest of our lives. In the meantime Gertrude, please eat from the barrel of mollusks I have left for you. How is our son doing? Does he still have scurvy? Try feeding him some more Mollusks....We are heading towards a small island off the coast of Fiji now, I will write again once we get settled there. Hopefully this bottle reaches you before the next one, otherwise the order is all messed up and it could get weird....goodmorrow to you.

Regards,

The Sea Captain

The story of the captain and his crew's adventure on the small island near Fiji is an obscure one; no written account of their deaths has been found, however, there are various versions of what happened:


Some say the captain and his men found the fountain of cheeseburgers and ate themselves to death; others have said their demise was an attack from the local native tribes; however, the most likely case, based on physical evidence, was that the captain and crew members died of Mollusk poisoning.